Chongqing - "If you admire a butterfly, do not chase it. Plant a garden instead. When spring returns and flowers bloom, the butterfly will come to you." This metaphor for love, shared by Professor Li Jinhua during a general elective course at Southwest University, has resonated far beyond his classroom, amassing over three million likes online.
The sentiment captures the spirit of a new wave of popular courses sweeping universities in Chongqing. This semester, elective courses with titles like "Psychology of Love" have become some of the most sought-after classes, filling to capacity as students seek guidance on one of life's most complex topics: relationships.
Navigating Love with More Confidence Than Clarity
For many modern students, the pursuit of romance is fraught with uncertainty. "Why don't they like me?" and "How do I even find a partner?" are frequent questions Associate Professor Hu Xiao hears at the Psychological Center of Southwest University of Political Science and Law (SWUPL).
A class session on the Psychology of Love led by Professor Hu Xiao. (Photo/Southwest University of Political Science and Law).
As director of the university's Psychological Crisis Prevention and Intervention Research Center, Hu notes that more than 60% of the student counseling cases she sees are related to romantic troubles. She recalls a sophomore who fell into a depressive state, plagued by insomnia for a week, after a confession was rejected.
Recognizing a clear need, Hu launched her "Psychology of Love" elective in 2015. "Rather than only offering therapy after a crisis, it's more effective to provide preventative, popular education," she explained.
Hu observes that while the current generation of students, often termed the post-00s, is bolder in expressing emotions than their predecessors, their core understanding of love remains similar - a blend of longing and shyness. The primary struggle lies in the "how": how to express feelings, build a healthy relationship, and cope with heartbreak.
Educators widely acknowledge this gap between desire and skill. Liu Dongmei, Party Secretary of the School of Economics and Business Administration at Chongqing University of Education, notes students' "sincere aspirations" for companionship are often matched by significant "relationship anxiety."
Liu Dongmei teaches the general elective course "Psychology of Love for University Students" to students. (Photo/Chongqing University of Education)
"They desire deep, stable connections but frequently lack the tools to initiate them or navigate the inevitable conflicts," Liu said. "Managing emotional fallout is a major challenge affecting their well-being."
Wang Lifei, Director of the Mental Health Teaching Department at Chongqing Jiaotong University, sees a more pragmatic approach among students. "Their attitude is more rational. They emphasize both emotional connection and compatibility, seeking relationships that foster mutual growth," Wang said. She shared an example from a student's assignment: "If a relationship doesn't help me become a better person, I prefer to stay single."
Wang Lifei leads a class for university students. (Photo/ Chongqing Jiaotong University)
Discussions in class and counseling sessions also reveal concerns about the influence of family background, the financial cost of dating, navigating sexual attitudes, and managing extreme reactions to breakups. "This isn't just a casual topic; for many, it could be one of the most crucial courses they take," Hu Xiao emphasized.
Inside the Classroom: From Love Letters to Life Lessons
On a recent Thursday evening, over 180 students packed a lecture hall at SWUPL for Hu Xiao's class on "The Turn of Love," which focused on recovery after rejection or a breakup.
Her 16-hour course is structured over eight sessions, covering topics from self-awareness and confession to attachment styles, breakup recovery, healthy perspectives on sexuality, and sustaining long-term commitment.
A standout assignment is the midterm "love letter," which accepts creative formats - handwritten notes, Vlogs, handmade crafts, or even QR codes. One student used a 3D printer to create a puzzle lock, with the key engraved with a name. Another produced a heartfelt video diary addressed to a future partner.
"Grading isn't about following a formula," Hu said. "We look for sincerity, emotional resonance, and creativity." The final exam tests application through case studies, evaluating understanding of theories like Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love.
"The ultimate goal is to guide students from focusing solely on romantic 'love' toward a broader appreciation for care and commitment - toward family, community, and society," Hu added, highlighting the course's integration of ideological and moral education.
At Chongqing Jiaotong University, Wang Lifei incorporates love psychology into the compulsory "Mental Health Education" course for first-year students. Liu Dongmei's new elective at Chongqing University of Education similarly extends beyond dating mechanics to discuss self-protection, managing emotional stress, and the nature of commitment. "Love is a journey toward happiness. We want students to learn to cherish the present and live authentically," Liu said.
Building a Broader Support Ecosystem
Experts agree that a single course, however popular, is insufficient. A multidimensional support system is needed to address students' emotional education adequately.
Hu Xiao advocates for integrating relationship education into broader university life and moral education frameworks. Liu Dongmei suggests supplementing courses with salons, workshops, and group counseling sessions to cater to diverse needs.
She also points to a growing demand for versatile instructors. "The trend requires teachers who are adept not just at lecturing, but also at facilitating groups, providing individual counseling, and managing psychological crises," Liu noted.
Wang Lifei identifies another modern hurdle: digital immersion. "Online interaction has reduced face-to-face practice. Many students lack experience in real-world communication, which increases anxiety and hampers their ability to build intimacy," she said.
Her recommendation is straightforward: universities must consciously create more opportunities for authentic, in-person collaboration and dialogue. "Developing strong communication and empathy skills offline is the true foundation for any healthy relationship," Wang concluded.
As these "hit" courses demonstrate, for today's university students, understanding the heart is not just a personal pursuit, but an academic one they are eager to undertake.