Chongqing- Kai Wood, a Canadian writer, and teacher who lives in Chongqing with his wife Xiaolin. Chongqing is a sprawling metropolis over more than 33 million people, only 800 KM to the West of Wuhan, the epicenter of the outbreak of a novel coronavirus 2019-nCoV. For the past week, he has kept a diary, which he shares with iChongqing.
Tues Jan 28
I wake up feeling tired. I have to calm the anxiety and stress or I'm just going to make myself sick. I read some Marcus Aurelius and this quote stands out to me: "When you arise in the morning think of what a privilege it is to be alive, to think, to enjoy, to love ..." ― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations. I post in my daily stoic WeChat community. Now more than ever, we support each other. I can't change the conditions outside. I can only calm myself and do my best. Alert, but not anxious, I tell myself and get out of bed.
It's early enough that I catch my dad in Ottawa before bed, and we play another NHL2020 hockey game online. I play like the devil is chasing me and I whoop him.
Lots of friends on our Canada group are discussing safety precautions and what kind of mask can stop the virus moisture from infecting you. I mention I'm wearing goggles too. Most people think it’s too much. Some CQ friends are going to our favorite American hamburger spot and invite me. I say I'll attend via video conference. Between that and the goggles discussion, my friend Michael calls me a hypochondriac. I feel attacked.
Lin and I decide to suit up and go to the big grocery store RenRenLe. On the way I run into my hairdresser, looking fashionable in a tailored blue suit jacket and pants and a fitted T. He looks at us like we're aliens. I ask him where his mask is? Isn't he scared?
No, he shakes his head, He’s not scared. He smiles and keeps walking.
We are shopping and someone starts coughing very loud behind us. We just abandon the stalk of celery on the scale and take off. I find some pasta sauce in what’s left of the foreign food section, and then Xiaolin grabs my arm. She tells me she can't see. We hold each other's arms and slowly walk through foggy aisles.
Chongqing by Night
We're blind as the bats that started all this trouble. Somehow we make it to the self-checkout machine and bag our stuff and pay. I'm dripping in sweat under all my layers and breathing heavily into my double masks. By the time we get outside the grocery store and into the open air, I have to pull off my hood and googles and get some fresh air. No one is around.
At home, the decontamination process takes a good twenty minutes. I feel like I’m playing chess against billions of invisible, angry little viruses, and I'm trying to stay sane and clean at the same time.
I cook a nice dinner for us. I eat falafels with mushrooms and fried broccoli with garlic. I cook a steak for Xiaolin. The kitchen is so smokey! I start to wheeze a bit and feel nervous about that. It gets better.
Xiaolin's salsa class has over 1500 people dancing and 10,000 watching and cheering them on. She is careful not to use her sore left shoulder, but we're happy to have something to do.
I listen to more news until late in the morning.
Wed Jan 29
My admin support worker, Nicole tells the foreign teachers at the high school that we should not come back to China. Some of us are in Japan, South Korea, Thailand. One of us is back home in England. They are confused, as flights are getting canceled and areas of being locked off. They say they're running short of money and hoping to get back to work and paid soon— but that's not happening. Lots of confusion abounds.
The sun comes out and we get some free air outside the house on the parking garage. No one is around us but we keep our masks on. A journalist joins our Canadian group and starts asking us questions. We ask for help to put some pressure on the Canadian embassy to help out our trapped Wuhan Canadian friends. I offer to go on record and answer some questions about what's going on.
Today I write 1000 words of my book. I feel blasé today. Maybe frustrated. It's hard to focus with so many people blowing up my social media.
All afternoon I play some video games. Xiaolin video chats with baby Ethan and her family, and then we watch some TV. I have the rest of my falafels and veggies for dinner.
Toady's salsa class has 3000 people dancing and 15,000 watching. It's impressive. People are so excited to have something social and fun to do.
Thursday, Jan 30
I sleep in late. It's been six days of just hanging around the house, and I feel aimless. I go through my morning ritual, wash up, make coffee and breakfast for Lin and I. I've been watching "prepping" videos. I wonder how long we’ll be in the house.
My coworkers are starting to realize this is no joke as borders are closing, and their plane tickets back are canceled, and they make plans to go back to their countries. My best friend tells me he's going to fly out in a couple of days (Feb 3) to the USA and then Canada. I kind of envy him, but I'm not about to abandon my dogs into the streets just to run away, and my wife doesn't want to leave her family. I've made roots here.
News from Germany about asymptomatic transmission backs up what China has been saying! That is scary. But it makes me feel less crazy for taking these precautions. My friends are freaking out that they can't go outside because all the masks are sold out. I contact a buddy of mine who produced some high-end ones on Kickstarter. He's got 200 left in Shenzen. By the time I get a dozen of my friends to confirm, he's down to 40, but I buy lucky 13 of them. I could use an extra. They’re supposed to ship on Monday.
I'm 10 days since the shopping market activity and 7 and 9 days from the family dinners and no symptoms, so I feel pretty good about that.
We relax. The day feels like it's crawling by, but before I know it, we have a little Chinese style hot pot (I eat mushrooms and potatoes) and help Xiaolin put her Salsa class on the big screen. The numbers are crazy big now, thousands dancing and over 10,000 tuned in to watch and chat.
I didn't write much today. It's hard to feel really focussed.
I read something online, and it makes me think of the song "My Sharona," but "My Corona" instead, like a jingle stuck in my head. It won't go away. I download the karaoke version and make an edit for my Canadians in WeChat friends. They laugh, it feels good to chat with them, and I read for a while.
Friday, Jan 31
It's my seventh day of being locked at home with my wife. We try to pretend we're on a nice vacation. It's feeling a bit tired. I hope we get some good news soon. Today the local specialist Dr. Zhong says that the virus will peak in 5 - 15 days and to be vigilant, not to go outside even if it's sunny. A few days ago, it was really sunny, and lots of people went outside without masks singing in the streets, and the doctor told them to go home and stay strong. The only way we can reduce the infection is by staying inside.
My American coworker defies a level 4 USA travel recommendation and flies back to China anyway to see his girlfriend. We talk about what will happen if we go back to school on the 17th, and the virus is peaking. Maybe we will teach online for the month. We really don't know anything, and our school has no idea either. We all just have to wait and see what happens. It feels like we're in the eye of the storm, and it's hard to just be relaxed, but I try my best to chill out.
I get an email, and CTV liked my print interview, wants to do a live TV segment. I say ok, but it's getting late and by the time we go to air I'm feeling exhausted, but it's nice to talk to them and tell our story. A few friends send me screenshots - it’s a bit surreal, to be on TV for being stuck at home.
Today was a good day.
Sat Feb 1 today
It's Saturday! What does the weekend mean when every day is lie in bed day? I do some pushups and weights, and drink some coffee, stretch my muscles. I hope I can get back to the gym soon. iChongqing has lots of stories for me to work on, but we lead with, "Chongqing Novel Coronavirus Update: Urgent Epidemic Prevention Methods in Effect in 9 districts of Downtown Chongqing." There are more than 11,000 cases of coronavirus and pneumonia in China now, and I can't figure out from our translations if it's the virus or if every case has pneumonia also, which would be much more serious. In Chongqing, we have 238 cases, and one local person has died. One has recovered and been released, but I hope we see more of that soon. I get invited to write a blog for my Canadian people to get a window into my anxiety and isolation. Sure! It sounds like something to do, and that's welcome. Maybe if this goes on, there might be a book in it. That'd be cool.
I pull out my ukulele and play for a while, but get distracted fiddling around and doing some work on my laptop, writing, and editing. I wish I was doing this from the beach, what a dream. I watch some YouTube live streams of my favorite beaches and feel happy and then a bit jealous.
My buddy Jay, an American, is chartering a private plane to Mexico. We discuss his plan. I'm a bit jealous, even though it costs him a lot of money. He's got 2 children, one a baby girl just 6 months old. It's worth his savings to him for their safety.
I binge on podcasts and YouTube videos. We have hotpot again. We do a salsa class. It's fun.
Sunday, Feb 2
Day 9. I talk to my dad. He's worried but falling asleep on the phone, it's not a great conversation, and I'm impatient. I can feel in my bones; it's going to be a hard day.
I get suited up for a walk. My wife is craving Oreos, and I want some bread. I decided to vlog the adventure in case people want to see what it's like for me. I'll edit it later. Everything is closed on my street, and the only bakery that was open closes as I walk by. I do find a little store about ten minutes away. I end up buying Apples and Oreos. I have to take off a glove to use my cashless payment, and it falls out of my pocket. I try to retrace my steps, but it's gone. Damn it.
My good friend Sean has moved up his flight because the USA is canceling flights from China. He's in LA and going to make his way back to Toronto. I tell him to try the tacos, they're great.
My wife and I feel a bit crazy, so I go to work in my office. Then I get into a flow state and write close to 10,000 words, and that's really good. She doesn't see a word of my productivity. She runs in and I say something cranky and we get in an argument. It’s hard to be cooped up for so long. We need some fresh air and sunlight soon.
Later I talk to my good friend Stu about healthy marriages, and he's full of positivity and good advice. Being a productive adult seems like just being willing to sacrifice for your family, and being a good husband seems like just never giving up when you have a really hard day. I could be wrong, but I'm hanging in there and hope tomorrow is a better day.
Monday, Feb 3, 2020
Open my eyes around 9:30. Xiaolin is still asleep. Try not to bother her. She's said she likes to wake up late, so the day doesn't feel so long. I check my email. At 4 AM, my contact from CTV launched my first week of diary blog. Looks cool. Shortly after, There's another live TV interview request. I've already missed it. I'll see if I can get my vlog shopping trip up on YouTube today.
I get out of bed, wash my hands wash my hands wash my hands. They feel like raisins. They’re prunes. I’ve never been so clean. It feels like I wash them 100 times a day, before and after every task, so I can have the pleasure to scratch my nose if I choose and not worry it will make me sick or dead.
Yesterday the bakery closed down, so I am not sure if I will be able to make toast anymore. I try to order some flour and cheese to make pizza but my passport doesn’t work for JD online and Xiaolin doesn’t want any.
The balance between wanting food to last and not letting it go bad means everything is now a serious decision. I'm storing boiled water in containers in case I can't order more spring water, and in case I lose power or water for some time, although I'm pretty sure that won't happen. But being prepared is the only antidote from feeling helpless.
I write and edit and edit the video and relax. Xiaolin is still grumpy. She's watching a video about a young Chinese woman who goes to Santorini to take wedding photos but doesn't have a boyfriend. Her driver is laughing at her. Xiaolin and I took wedding photos there last summer. It was amazing. I can't tell if Lin wishes she'd done it alone or not. Two Leos together can be a dream power team or like a couple of angry pirates with barbed wire hands. I've been married four years, and that means I know when to be quiet and let time heal wounds.
We get a call. Some toothpaste is waiting downstairs so I suit up to go outside, and head to the only remaining open market. My goggles are so foggy by the time I get there I can hardly see but I find a loaf of sweet bread. I let everyone go first so that I don’t have to crowd next to anyone, and then pay with WeChat cashless pay. Outside, an old man is kneeling down, wheezing, hacking and spitting on the ground. It’s shocking. I walk away quickly. An older lady walks out and they walk away together.
Shopping with precautions
No salsa class today. Xiaolin doesn’t feel like it. Maybe we'll try tomorrow.
I finished editing my shopping vlog. I put a little jingle into the beginning. Feels like a good day, quiet, boring, but I'm safe. I meant to get something to eat hours ago. Maybe I'll grab a snack.
I missed dinner last night, and tonight I realized. I feel a little hungry, but not enough to make anything. Maybe tomorrow. I never did make that mushroom soup.
Around 10 PM, I go cut some slices of bread and make some pizza toast with pasta sauce, feta cheese, and fried garlic. It's not bad.
I think things are going to be ok.
Tuesday, Feb 4
I'm running low on coffee. I think I will go without it today. The Stoic philosophers of ancient Greece and Rome used to practice "going without" as a way to enhance gratitude and allay anxiety (I'm "ok" without coffee today, I'm doubly grateful for coffee tomorrow).
I'm going to binge on masterclasses for the next week in case I lose access. Today it's a writing and comedy class with David Sedaris. He's really funny, really witty. I learn the importance of asking smart questions and turning small talk into something meaningful. A precious gift.
It's amazing how many days I didn't log in and wasted the chance when I didn't see the end of the road ahead. Life is like that. We waste so much time until we know the end is near, and then we spend the rest of our lives trying to buy time like we can hold onto water in our hands.
Newest numbers for Chongqing are 337 cases of serious coronavirus with pneumonia. My district is second highest with 15 confirmed cases and 1 death. A student's mother told me it was a restaurant worker near my Campus B campus. It's scary. We're glad we cook at home. On social media posts of compounds with infected people inside make the rounds. My good friend and his wife panic when they find out their compound has a dozen infected, and then realize it's a building with the same name in Wuhan. We are on high alert.
Canadians on Wechat debate whether microwaving a cheeseburger would kill the virus if it was made by an infected person. People tell them to relax and enjoy their lives. One local restaurant worker was infected and got all his coworkers infected. We don't know about the customers yet.
We are all worried, but we are hopeful. The measures taken by China are unheard of and will have a huge impact in breaking the chain of transmission if people can be patient and wait in their homes. Official China figures today are 20,471 confirmed cases and 23,214 suspected cases. 2788 are severe, 426 deaths, and 657 cured and released. This is a big jump from a day or two ago.
I cave mid-afternoon and make a pot of coffee. It's so savory, so aromatic and delicious. My headache goes away. Tomorrow I'll try to wean off it and make it every second day maybe. Not today.
Tomorrow I will switch it up with some black tea.
A dozen fancy nanofiber masks show up from Shenzen. We got the call from Wuhan and for a minute got freaked out — if they're coming from Wuhan, never mind! We find out the admin worker is calling from Wuhan, but the masks came from Shenzhen. I send two more to Chengdu for my British friend and his pregnant girlfriend for their hospital trip this Friday.
I'm making a big batch of lentil soup, with carrots and lots of spices, but realize we are out of onions. I debate going to the market but decide not to. I use a lot of garlic instead. I harvest my little set up of bean sprouts, wash them, and toss them in my soup. I start growing a new batch of seeds.
Hours later, the soup is done. It smells so good. I toss in some crackers and feta cheese, and it's delicious. I have leftovers for a couple of days too. Success.
We have lots more stories to edit --- community leaders are going door to door on a grid to make sure to find and treat all symptomatic patients. People feel optimistic that we can isolate the infected patients and beat this. My spirits are high today. Zhongguo, Jaiyo! Go, China!