Sunday, April 5 – Be Like Water

By Rhett Morita TORONTO, CANADA

 

‘Be like Water’

Fluid, adaptable, able to change state from gas to liquid to solid, in either direction.

For most of us, North Americans, life has literally ‘turned on its head ‘ in a month or less. 

The inconceivable ( ala Wallace Shawn from Princess Bride) ‘new normal’ has been imposed upon our daily life with no escape, or no way out, regardless of social, religious, governmental, economic, or educational status. From celebrities to Cardinals, presidents to Ph’d’s, factory workers to factory owners, we are all in this. Every single human being on this blue planet, it doesn’t matter if you are 8 to 88, black, yellow, red, brown, and white. Every world-class athlete, weekend warrior, and toddler taking their first steps ever. We are all human, our bodies function in basically the same way, we breathe, we feel, we drink, we eat, and we think. Yeah, I know we also have all those ‘going out of our body’ functions as well. 

But now we are all more aware of our sameness, our same vulnerability, regardless of the size of your stock portfolio, your vocal skills, the number of followers, the size of your freezer, or the size of your fist! 

This is a NEW TIME, whereby your AQ or Adaptability Quotient may be the most useful skill or talent… yes, even more, important than your Tik-Tok skills. We are being presented with new means and ways of living our lives in a highly aware state of this invisible assassin. I call it the Ninja Virus, silent, moves so fast, you cannot see it, and when it strikes, it can be deadly. I am reflecting on my behavior in the past three to four weeks as I was already on ‘alert status’ by the end of January, due to a 23-year early warning from a recommended book ‘The Coming Plague’ by Laurie Garrett. But this was the first time in 23 years that I felt moved enough to start early prep, SARS did not set off my alarms, and I was right in the thick of it in Toronto. 

I started wearing a mask in early March, I was basically in self-isolation by the 7th, I told my agent, on the 9th that I was stepping back from auditions as that situation was too uncontrollable and impossible to follow my protocols, as even a week earlier I was already sanitizing everything, carrying both Purell and Lysol wipes to auditions. Yes, I could see people giving me looks. Oh, by the way, early this week, my agent told me that an actor who was at the audition that I was to attend on the 9th, tested positive for COVID19. I do more auditions per week than any of her actors, so she was obviously taken aback by this position I was taking. Also, I desperately need the gig/money as I have worked very little so far this year, ( even after 4 callbacks, ) so by all accounts, it is stupid for me to step back now when I am close to breaking through; however, I have learned to ‘Trust My Instincts’ Two weeks later. Basically, the whole industry was shut-down. 

Now in this new, only essential travel mode, which is basically a once a week grocery shop, plus maybe two solo side trips, in full gear, last month. I noticed besides cultural stares, and the tangible mental judgments, ( partly I feel because I am Asian), that outside of the slightly self-conscious feelings I was rising above, ( thank-god I have street busked in clown regalia) I had to get used to the slightly claustrophobic feeling of my breath in my mask(s). Yes, I wear an N-99 mask with usually a tight fabric ’face shield’ and sometimes a bigger bandana over top of that, mostly for aesthetic reasons, I think it looks cooler, but it does help provide exterior protection of the n-99 mask from droplets as well. I wear them once then carefully place them in a garbage bag for eventual washing, usually 3-4 days after wearing them, another level of precaution. So this breath kickback, a warm, slightly moist feeling on my skin after every out-breath. I become much more aware of my breathing speeds as each out-breath is a strong ‘new’ sensation on my face. I am way more aware of those anxious times since I feel the speed of my breath increases. And the first three times, I felt ‘hyper-aware of that new feeling but now… after only maybe 7 outings, it feels natural, comforting even. When I am not wearing a mask, I feel like a hockey player without his ‘cup,’ which I remember very timidly playing once in that situation, and never again. So I marvel at the fact that in one month, I have gone from a non-mask wearer to a full-time mask wearer ( in pubic ), and it not only feels natural now, it feels both correct and like a ‘security blanket’ all warm and comforting. Otherwise, I feel ‘naked.’

Yes, I am aware of NOT becoming bold, reckless, thinking I am invulnerable, but this new normal seems relatively ‘natural now’ just like I have seen the numbers of mask-wearing shoppers go up from like 1% a month ago, to maybe 60-65% when I was shopping yesterday. We are in changing times, and we need to be fluid to adapt to whatever is needed today, often with new knowledge projecting forward to what is actually needed today, not just looking at the old ( even most of our news/stats are weeks old) for tell-tale signs. It feels like a time to be self-responsible, pro-active, not just waiting for others to tell us what to do. If you can be ahead of the curve, that is actually on time. 

 

 

This diary entry is part of Kai’s collection, from an upcoming book titled The Lighthouse, his second collection of COVID-19 diary entries, this one is a collaboration of voices from around the globe. He shares with them iChongqing, and at www.theinvisiblewar.co.